Will it change them?

Tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow I start a new job at a preschool and with that Jimmy and Sarah start at the school too. For all their lives, myself and family have been the only people to care for them. So I can't help but feel sad. I will be close to them and that is great and we will get to have time together in the car to and from and it's not even the being away from them that I worry for because I will be in the same building.

It's how this will change them. They will never be the same. I can no longer control what they see and do in the same way that I have been.  

I know this is not all bad. They will teach them many things. Colors, numbers and letters. How to line up and follow directions. To sit still during meal and story time. They will help in potty training and they will make  friends. But what scares me is I won't be the one teaching them and guiding them and seeing the joy in Jimmy's face when he gets the answer correct. Don't even get me started on my fear that Sarah will take her first steps when I am not around to witness it.

It's just a strange feeling for me.

I worry that they will be in class tomorrow wondering where I am and why I left them. Which they will, I know this but I hope the teachers give them extra hugs like I would and ease the fears they will have. I worry they will not be treated fairly by the other children. I worry Jimmy will dance on the tables. I worry Sarah will spend the day not having giggled.

Will it change them? Yes, how could it not. I just hope and pray I don't miss all the good parts.

We have bought the kinder mat and packed a pillow and blanket for Jimmy and I have slept with Sarah's blankets for two nights so she has something familiar with her. I have paired up his clothes for the week and packed an extra outfit for each if they need it. My lunch is made and my clothes are hanging and ready. The alarm is set and the kids are asleep. All that's left to do is settle my thoughts on tomorrow and get to bed.

Goodnight,
Becky  

Where have I been?

Where have I been? I had some hard family stuff happen over the last many months.

But I am back! Tomorrow.

XOXO
Becky

21 Week Update!!

How far along: 21 sweet weeks :)  

Total weight gain: 6lbs :/ 

Baby Names: Still stuck and haven't had a moment to talk about it. 

Sleep: Great. Everything wakes me up and having to pee each time is a must but no more crazy dreams!   

Best moment of this week: Going back to my old trusted Doctor E. It was a hard decision to switch back but we are glad we did. It's hard to build trust with a new doc after seing the same one for 10+ years. 

Miss anything: A beer. No, I am not a drunk or do I even have one beer a month but with the heat here in Florida a Bud Light Lime and a trip to the beach sure sound nice. 

Movement:  Tons! Last night was crazy and I think I felt baby on the outside!! All day today baby has been active and I am loving it!

Food cravings: Nothing really this past week. Umm I would love a smoothie though.  

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing still :)

Gender: Still nopers. 

Labor signs: No No NO!

Belly button in or out: Innie        

Wedding rings on or off:  On everyday but my engagement ring is too snug. 

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy happy happy :) 

Looking forward to: Duck Dynasty and Breaking Bad to start back up! Oh and Saturday I am going to a sweet chocolate shop and getting a tour of how they make everything. If it goes good and it's yummy I will tell you all about it. 

Photo of the day is James driving his truck on baby belly... 

Bye for now friends!! 

20 Week Update!!

Yeah yeah so I missed last week...oh well :) 

How far along: The big 20!! Half way to a full term baby!! I swear everyone I know has the slowest pregnancy's but mine are in fast forward :)  

Total weight gain: Not sure, but I don't feel heavier and everything still fits the same.

Baby Names: We have no boy names picked yet but for girl we both like Katie :) 

Sleep: Doing great on sleep now that James is not sick. I still have to get up to pee but otherwise good.  

Best moment of this week: Steve took a day off! We did nothing and it was great. I sure miss him being around (works two jobs now). 

Miss anything: Sweets. I have cut most out in attempts to keep gestational diabetes at bay this pregnancy. 

Movement:  Yes yes yes!!! When I am not chasing my toddler or busy around the house the baby is now making itself know and I love it.  

Food cravings: Oranges, grapes and chocolate milk :) 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, I'm great!

 

Gender: Don't know. Tech was unable to get a good view. 

Labor signs: No No NO!

Belly button in or out: In as ever.          

Wedding rings on or off:  On and almost every day (means I got dressed that day).

Happy or moody most of the time: I have been good. Normal emotions lately, thank goodness. 

Looking forward to: Switching back the doctor that watched over us during my last pregnancy. 

Photo of the day is James trying grapes for the first time... 

Bye for now friends!! 

18 Week Update!!

How far along: 18 weeks baby!! 

Total weight gain: No change :)   

Maternity clothes: I need to change this question...The answer is yes and will be for a while.  

Sleep: Trouble falling back asleep and lately my mind goes to sad and dark places relating to my Dad. Like the day he died :( Keeps me up and crying most early mornings. 

Best moment of this week: Not sure...this week had bee off...I have had a lot on my mind with my sleep troubles and some issues with the baby that I will tell you all about tomorrow. 

Miss anything: Ummm pregnancy related...sweet stuff. My teeth get super sensitive during pregnancy and so many things send me into tooth pain. 

Movement:  Nopers. But today my Midwife could hear it through the doppler thing. 

Food cravings: Fruit and cold stuff still! 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing. Amen. 

Have you started to show yet: YES! This is another question to change because once you pop you cant stop :) 

Gender: Tomorrow is the big day. To know or not to know...Still thinking of having them write it down so if I want to know I can peek :)

Labor signs: No No NO!

Belly button in or out: Totally in.                

Wedding rings on or off:  Yes. Had a few days it was tight but if I watch my water they slip right on and off.  

Happy or moody most of the time: Emotional! Everything make s me cry, happy and sad. Today I got sad because Ethan our pre-teen has a friend spending the night and I felt bad for baby James because his brother wasn't playing with him. 

Looking forward to: Tomorrow. Right now I can't see past it. 

Photo of the day is my sweet baby waiting so good for the Midwife today :) 

Bye for now friends!!